bumming

after 3 weeks and 1 day of non-running i decided to give it a try today. apparently, i managed to strain the ligament connecting my right hams to my hip bone and it seems to be taking forever to heal. i feel like i've tried everything- resting, icing, advil, no advil, swimming, no swimming, no walking around in heels, sitting on frozen peas, sitting on heat packs, about 4 different kinds of cream (one of which incidentally gave me an allergic reaction!), acupuncture and yoga- and it's healing but incredibly slowly. which is very difficult for a highly impatient person like me. i downgraded my workout from running to just swimming to just elliptical- can you imagine how boring it is to go on an elliptical for 2 hours?- to just giving up and resting. to be honest, the first week of sleeping in, journaling, enjoying the life outside training, catching up w/ friends, going to a concert, being highly productive elsewhere were a much-needed break for my body and my mind. afterwards, however, i started to feel bummed and weak and envious of people who can run.

so today i decided to give running a try. i put on my running pants and layers, stretched a ton, went outside, a little bit nervous, a little bit excited ... and lasted 2 minutes. for the first 15 seconds i felt fantastic. i felt my body resting into an easy jog and my breath settling into a comfortable rhythm. i missed that so much. then the nagging pain came back and by now i've learned to pay attention to my body, and remembered sb's advice to run until it hurts even if it is just running down the block. so i gave it up and went back to yoga. btw i am awful at yoga, i can't even touch my toes! claudia from swim recommended yoga, and i decided to take her advice since she has strong hips, she says.

cm and sb have been a great encouragement to me, like planning and/or swimming odd workouts with me that are heavy on the pull buoy and fly (since apparently i can do fly w/o hurting) and telling me that things will get better in time. i am trying to train healthy and my goal is to start imlp training 110% healthy even if it means resting more than and starting later than i want to. but i can't deny that, eloquently speaking, being injured sucks. feeling weak sucks. not being "in control" sucks. not being sure about what to eat and what to do with all of my energy sucks.

on the other hand, there is a lot to be learned from this whole ordeal although sometimes i wish i could go back to feeling invincible:
1) i need to listen to my body, and respect how it's feeling even if i feel "silly" about how it's feeling.
2) rest 1 day a week. this is important in resting my body and my mind and for remembering that life has other important things to enjoy and work on.
3) good friends are so important in commiserating with and encouraging me. sometimes i need someone who can see the bigger picture when i am feeling stuck.
4) i really really love movement. feeling like i'm flying when i'm running or floating when i'm biking or chilaxing when i'm swimming. just because i'm not the best at it, or as good as i would like to be, doesn't mean that i can't enjoy it. this- the appreciation for being healthy and active just for its own sake- is something i'd like to keep with me.